It doesn't get easier

Noah is still in the hospital.  He will be until at least the middle of this week.  He doesn't like being there but he's making the most of it -- learning as many coping tools as possible for dealing with his anger and practicing them.

I have been able to see him everyday for about 30-45 minutes at a time.  I treasure our times together...the hugs he gives, the stories he tells, the things he tells me he's learning....and I struggle to keep my composure when it's time to leave.  It never gets easier to say good bye....to not be the one tucking him in at night....to see his eyes well up with tears....to know that he still cries at night....to hear him say "take me home with you" and know that I can't.  We all know this is the best, safest place for him right now....but it doesn't make it any easier.  I pray with him when I'm there and share Bible verses.  I made him a notebook with notes from his brothers and sister, from me, from my parents, and a few Bible verses.  It's something he can look at when he feels lonely, scared, sad and he loved it.

Thank you for all the prayers and support for our family.  We definitely still need it.