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So it's after midnight and I can't sleep....so I decided to blog. Today has been an exciting day. I had a group interview for a job giving presentations on equipment that helps people with breathing problems, allergies, or simply for people who are concerned with air quality. It sounded like a lot of fun....in theory! The job is flexible so I'd be able to work while Noah, Abby, and Joey are in school. Sounds perfect, doesn't it?!?! After the group interview we were told to call between 6:30 and 7:00 tonight to find out if we were selected. If so, the job begins Monday.
I called right at 6:30....while Noah, Abby, and Joey were finishing up with swimming lessons. This is what I heard on the other end of the phone: "Congratulations! You have been selected! We'll see you at 1:00 on Monday afternoon. Congratulations, again." I was ecstatic! You would have thought I had won $10,000 by the huge smile on my face. Jeff, my mom, my dad, even the kids were all thrilled.
Now it has sunk in. Not the fact that I got the job after getting so many "no" responses. Not the fact that the job pays well. Not the fact that I would be helping improve our financial picture after we've gone without any income for a few months. What has sunk in is that I will no longer be a stay-at-home-mom (SAHM). Eli will not have me around during the day. Eli will not have his siblings around during the day either because they will all be in school all day. That fact is breaking my heart. I have cried about this over the last hour or so.....and I don't know what to do. Jeff has a very good possibility of getting a job but won't find out until Monday.
When do you make a decision solely based on money rather than what you think is best for your child? When does the fact that I have been wired by God to be with my children come into play? And why does it seem that God isn't giving me a clear answer?
Look at this face....I want to be with him!!!!! I don't want to say "good-bye" to being a stay-at-home-mom!
2 comments:
I've been having a lot of the same thoughts lately. And thinking I should probably get a job to help make ends meet but have the same struggle. I want to be with the kids even though it's madness sometimes. And I think there is a difference to needing the money, and just wanting more ya know? You seem to be in the situation where you need it to catch up right now. But maybe if Jeff gets a job and things get back under control you can retire :). Just keep seeking the Lord for direction.
Coming to you from MckForum :)
Our sermon last Sunday was on the one perfect question that would lead us to leading a Christ-like life: What is the wise thing to do? The Bible doesn't have all the concrete answers in black and white, and often we're in limbo about what the right thing to do is, so Andy Stanley said that answering that question, based on past experiences, current situation, and future expectations will lead to the answer. He even brought up the moms working debate...look at the situation, and for right now, is it the wise thing to do?
I always go back and forth about working, but when I asked myself that question, my answer was a very quick "yes, it is wise for me to be working right now." But for some, the answer would be "no."
I hope that helps...good luck! I know this is a very tough position for you to be in!
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