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Saturday, May 30, 2009

Marriage is......

TOUGH!!!!! And anyone who says otherwise is crazy! Don't get me wrong...it's wonderful, rewarding, and beautiful...but tough also.

Jeff and I have had an incredibly difficult year or so. Jeff has had 3 job losses in the last 2 years which was obviously financially difficult but each time was such a blow to his self-esteem and confidence. It also sent him into a severe depression --- but that's a post for another time.

We began pushing each other away and becoming more like strangers. I started rationalizing why separation was a good idea and why none of this way MY problem. I did ask Jeff for a separation...twice...and then he lost his job. It was then that the thought of divorce seemed like the only option.

But God had other plans!!!

God allowed Jeff to hit rock bottom so he would reach out for help. He agreed to see a counselor and everyone told me that should give me hope. But, in my stubbornness, I clung to my anger. I still pursued a divorce. I went to legal services to start the paperwork and was told it would be a 5 MONTH wait to even see a lawyer....and I couldn't afford a regular lawyer. Talk about God slamming that door!

A few days later God answered the prayers of many people and my heart was changed...softened toward my husband. I truly saw and empathized with how seriously he was struggling and how desperately he wants things to be different.

Out relationship is definitely not perfect but we are moving ahead, together, with God's grace and guidance.

This is part of what our pastor said at our wedding ceremony 10 years ago: love is not envious, proud, easily angered, boastful, rude, self-seeking, doesn't hold grudges. Love is patient, kind, rejoices in the truth, protects, trusts, hopes, lasts!

3 comments:

Jody

Oh Karlynn! I hope that God will continue to pour out mercy and grace and strength on both of you and walk with you through this difficult time in your lives. I agree...marriage IS tough! Even when things go well sometimes! But Satan would love nothing more than to tear your family apart and only add to your anger and hurts. I hope you keep talking and praying and crying and getting everything out in the open so that God can use it all and in the end- you will be a testimony to many of His love.
I'll pray for you as you come to mind and truly hope that God has some wonderful days and years ahead of you. All my best...xoxo.

mtclarys

Karlynn,
Thank you for sharing your trials with us; I am so happy to hear that your heart has turned to the love of your family and God. I absolutely agree that marriage has times when you question everything, and it's hard not to focus on your own needs and pain. But, when you come through this fire, you will be stronger, your marriage and family will be stronger, and your faith will be stronger. You have always been an inspiration to those around you (how many tips HAVE I taken from you in the kid department?); just remember that we can all help to shore you up as well. Try to laugh a little every day! And I'll be happy to give you hugs! You can do it! (I think I can, I think I can...) Love, Maria

SingerMamaMelody

Praise God!!! I'm SO glad to hear that you and Jeff are working through this difficult time. We will be praying for you!

Love,
Melody